Bikram Yoga July 5, 2009

I attended my first Bikram Yoga class in 2002. I was 17 years old, and from that first day, I fell in love.

Probably, the biggest advantage to this type of yoga, is the “high” that you get afterward. It is similar to a runner’s high (I was a runner until I injured myself) but better. By the end of the class, nothing else exists in the universe but you. With a clear mind, you acheive total relaxation.

I also love the aspect of entering a class with several other people, both men and women, and despite the fact that you may not know any of them, you have something in common. It’s also fascinating to me, how one person, can totally throw off the feeling of the entire class. By the end, everyone is smiling at one another, and even though you are really only competing againsed yourself, you have all survived 110 degrees, and 90 minutes, of intense workout. I think it brings a new closeness to strangers.

One cannot ignore the health benefits as well. When I was practicing on a regular basis, I stopped getting migraines. That in itself is better than any doctor or any medication I have tried. So far, I have had tests run, and nobody can find the cause. I have taken all of the expensive prescriptions, I have tried narcotics, and in the most severe situations I end up going and getting a shot of demerol… which after a period of about 12 hours will cure the headache. (that’s about how long I sleep after the demoral, and then I wake up groggy, but without the migraine)

At any rate, I will be taking a few classes during my vacation this next week. Then when I return,  my goal is to attend a class every day for a month… I will keep you all updated on my progress.

Wanna hear about my day?? May 16, 2008

Probably not, but I am going to tell you anyway.

My son woke up with a 102 fever. His first ever fever. (and I must add, that he is 9.5 months… and was only breastfed for two weeks. He is also around a lot of kids, with playgroups, church nursery etc)

Fun times. I kinda just thought he was teething. So I gave him some Tylenol and teething tablets and figured he was good to go. By noon he hadn’t eaten a single bite of solid food, and had barely consumed one bottle. His fever rose and I decided it was probably a good thing to take him to the doctor.

By two I was sitting in the waiting room of a packed pediatricians office with a two year old… and a sick 9 month old. Things were going as well as could be expected. My two year old was greeting everyone, trying to sit on everyone’s lap, and talking up a storm. Then, she went nuts. She started licking people, scratching, and throwing herself on the floor and screaming. At first I told her that licking was disgusting, scratching was mean, and that throwing herself on the floor was not appropriate.

Everyone in the waiting room was pretty cool about it, except for one teenage looking mother and her 5 month old baby. She didn’t say anything, she just looked at Rosalee like she was a child of the corn or something.  Five month olds are in the blob stage. They are cute and stuff but they can’t really do much to cause hell and havoc. I passed the time by imagining her son, 2 years older, stuffing rollie pollies up his nose, and throwing tantrums in the super market. She has no idea, that it’s not just “some people’s” two year olds that behave like little nut cases… it’s EVERYONE’s. Thankfully there were no brand new babies in the waiting room, or I would have felt especially horrible about Rosalee’s licking.

My explaining to my out of control two year old didn’t work. She continued to not only lick everyone in the waiting room, but the waiting room toys, the chairs, and the wall. It took every ounce of self control I had not to grab her by the ear, and yank her outside. Instead, I told her that she was not behaving appropriately and that we were going to have to go out to the car. Once there, I gave her a good old fashioned spanking.

Needless to say, the licking stopped. But, probably not in time for her to have picked up every single virus that was lurking in that waiting room. Let’s just hope there wasn’t anything crazy like Ebola.

We were finally done, and the doctor couldn’t find anything wrong with my son except a fever, and two teeth getting ready to poke through the gums.

On my way home, I called my grandma… and let her know the baby was ok. As I was talking to her I went through the mcdonalds drive through to get some ice cream. I told her I had no business even thinking about ice cream… and like the hero grandma she is she said “Ya, but maybe you need it.” I ate my ice cream in peace, while both children slept peacefully in their car seats, and didn’t feel even the slightest bit guilty.

Question: I am a single mom, so therefore I should? May 14, 2008

A) Be unhappy

B) Feel Bad

C) Assume my children will be messed up

D) None of the above

Answer: D

Recently, a woman in the grocery store asked me how my husband was transitioning from  having one child to two. I told her I am a single mother. She looked at me with sympathy and said “Im sorry.”  I said “why?”  She then looked at me like I must be crazy. What is so much harder about being a single mom? Why do people assume it is a curse? Sure, having two loving parents in the home to care for your kids makes your job a little easier, but you also have a husband to spend time with, and a marriage to tend to.

It’s just my kiddos and I, I spend time with them, I work, and?? Is that so bad? People look at me like I am nuts when I say I am not interested in a relationship. I just simply don’t feel like making the time to actually do serious dating and enter into a serious relationship at some point. Yes, I fully intend on raising my kids on my own…. and if someone amazing comes along that’s great, but I am not going to hunt them down. And even then, I just may not have the time for relationship up keep.

I guess I don’t fit the desperate single mother stereotype… but seriously, tonight my kids and I are going to eat pancakes for dinner, I am going to watch Sex and the City reruns, I am going to keep the covers all night, and in the morning I won’t fall in the toilet bowl. Even more amazing, I will have two beautiful babies smiling at me… which I have raised, on my own, since day one. And that is nothing to be unhappy or ashamed about.

single mothers don’t be afraid to hold your heads high!! You are amazing!

Restaurant bans children under 6 May 13, 2008

http://www.koat.com/family/16211702/detail.html?rss=alb&psp=nationalnews

Yet another sign of America’s war on families. What’s sad to me, is if I was to open a restaurant and ban people from speaking spanish loudly, or fat women talking and laughing loudly while downing two hamburgers and three pepsi’s, (in my opinion way more annoying than small children, and way less cute) people would be crying out for human rights. But, when it comes to small children, anything goes.

Wanna know how to avoid having to deal with small children while you eat your dinner?? Go to the bar, or stay home.

First they came for the Jews April 16, 2008

Let me start by saying that I refuse to debate with anyone. I feel very strongly about this issue, and could care less if someone out there doesn’t agree with me. Probably, a lot of people don’t… but it isn’t up for discussion on my blog.

First they came for the Jews
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the Communists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for me
and there was no one left
to speak out for me.

I remember this poem from 8th grade history class. where we learned about the horrors of world war two. And that is the first thing that came to mind when I woke up this morning and turned on the news. The Children taken from the Texas compound, ages 5 years and older, where forced at gunpoint away from their mothers. Neither the mothers or the children know if they will ever see each other again.

As I understand it, a 16 year old girl, allegedly from the compound (although they can’t find her, and don’t really know if she even exists), called for help, saying she had been beaten, forced into a marriage with a man in his 50’s and had an 8 month old child. This prompted CPS and others to raid the compound, removing all the children, and allowing the mothers to come with them. I believe that was highly justified.

But, days later, they tore hundreds of babies away from their mothers, and it is a crime. Especially when, these children are being abused by the church elders, and the men of the community. I heard NOTHING about the mothers harming their children.

And, I hate to say it, but is foster care, actually good for children? I have NEVER heard of a good foster situation. Children are raped (by 50 year old men), molested, beaten, starved….

What should have been done, is the men who have taken teenage wives,  and elders should have been removed from the compound, and prosecuted. Tearing apart mothers and children is not the way to go about solving the problem.

This is the start of the government taking over our country. This was an extremely high handed way of handling this situation, and I am afraid that as the government gets more power, more and more parents and children will be torn apart unjustly.

It saddens me that so many of our bleeding hearts complain about how the terrorists at Guantanamo bay are being treated, or the illegal immigrants who are deported and their children kept in the united states.  but there is no mention about the 300+ mothers and children who were forced out of their homes and put into a shelter with two bathrooms. NO mention of the toll being torn away from your home, and then days later your mother must take on a child. I agree that children should not be forced into marriages, but the way to handle that is not to force them away from the mothers, and the security they have always known. The way to do it is to remove the perpetrators, which means the men who have wed teenagers, and the elders who have made the rules.

I sincerely believe, that pretty soon, CPS will be coming for the rest of us too. Pretty soon, those of us who spank our children will be considered child abusers, or those of us who breastfeed, or bottle-feed, or feed our kids McDonald’s. Or those of us who don’t use carefully worded sentences when speaking with our children, so as to not upset poor Johnny.  We will be forced to conform to whatever the government thinks is right for OUR children, and if we don’t conform, then we will be criminals. Our tax dollars go every day, to people who’s only job is to make more laws. And every day we lose more and more rights.  Mostly because, people in society have been so dumbed down, that they can’t think for themselves.

Newborn daugher of Christian singer Todd Smith passes away. April 14, 2008

The newborn daughter of Christian singer Todd Smith passed away. I just read their blog dedicated to her, and it is absolutely inspiring. Their strength and faith in God is amazing.

http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/

Let’s not forget the survivors/current victims in our own communities April 13, 2008

I am a domestic violence survivor. I think that most of my regular readers know that. And because of that, the recent raid on the polygamist compound in Texas hits very close to home with me. For a few days, I didn’t understand why I was so interested in the news coverage of this horrible event. And then it hit me. I can relate. In more ways than I care to admit, and so can numerous other women. These women may live next door to you, in the apartment above you, in the cubicle next to you… maybe even in your own family, or your own home.

From what I understand of the polygamist culture, the men and church groom these girls, from the time they are virtually babies, to accept marriages to men sometimes 3 times their age. They see in their own houses domestic violence, and are told that they must obey their husbands. They don’t know what domestic violence is, because it is built into their way of life. In our culture, The same is true for children who grow up in abusive households. The girls learn that men beat on their wives, and the boys learn how to treat women from watching their father.

The women/girls in the compound have been told that if they leave, they will go to hell, they will be forced to have sex with numerous men, and that the outside world is evil. Add to that the fact that they have had little to no contact with the outside world, very little if any education, even if they are not “locked” in physically, there are still walls holding them in. The same is true for battered women in our culture. Many, have either only a high school diploma, or not even that, and several children. In their mind, they feel they can’t support themselves (lets face it, how well can you do on minimum wage?) Many batterers scare the women into thinking that they will take the kids (which is actually doable, especially if the husband is wealthy) or they threaten by saying things like “If You leave, I will kill you” or “If I can’t have you than no one else can.” And, quite honestly, their fear is NOT unfounded. Women are most likely to die after they  have left the batterer. And, statistically, if your partner has threatened to kill you, there is a good chance he will follow through with that threat.

You are probably saying, “Ok, but in our culture, men don’t have multiple wives.” Well, that is true. But, how many women choose to look the other way, when they KNOW their husbands have cheated on them, or are currently cheating, because they have no other options, or for the sake of their marriage or children?? How many women take back men who choose to cheat? SO while, men may not “marry” multiple women, that doesn’t exclude them from “having” multiple women. (and yes, the same is true for women, it’s not just men that cheat)

In my circumstance, My ex husband chose to exclude me from the outside world, but not allowing me to work, not allowing me access to my friends, and trying to limit my access to my family. He also chose what clothes I wore, wouldn’t allow me to wear makeup or perfume, escorted me if I left the house, and if I did not conform to his behavioral standards, he would hurt me. He refused to allow me to use birth control, censored the television I was allowed to watch, and in the end, threatened to take the life of me, and my unborn child. I had the strength, and the knowledge to break free.

I slept with the light on for a year. I lived in fear. I still jump if someone comes into a room or walks up behind me. I am uncomfortable around most men. But, I am a survivor, and my heart truly aches for these women and children taken from the compound. But, I think we must also not forget the same women, in our own communities. The compound is not an isolated place, and violence against women is an epidemic everywhere. It knows no financial, or social boundaries. It can happen to anyone. I thank God everyday, that my daughter and I made it out. The women and children in Texas are in my prayers. I have not lived in a polygamist community, but I think that I have to some extent walked a mile in their shoes. There are things, that happened during my marriage, that I will probably never talk about. And it saddens me to think that there are so many other women out there who can relate. Please, don’t forget about the survivors (and sometimes the women who did not make it out) in your own communities.

Pre-Teen Boy’s Choice Considered Only if Parents Disagree February 7, 2008

Pre-Teen Boy’s Choice Considered Only if Parents Disagree
By Jake Aryeh Marcus

Evading answering the question of whether the forced circumcision of a 12-year-old boy is harmful or raises constitutional issues at the federal or state levels, the Oregon Supreme Court, on January 25, 2008, ruled that:

“[A]lthough circumcision is an invasive medical procedure that results in permanent physical alteration of a body part and has attendant medical risks, the decision to have a male child circumcised for medical or religious reasons is one that is commonly and historically made by parents in the United States.”

This ruling affirms that, in Oregon, a male child may be forcibly circumcised if the parents desire. The Court also ordered that a custody court determine the 12-year-old boy’s “attitude regarding circumcision” before deciding if a change in custody is warranted by a father’s forcing his son to be circumcised. The Court did not find that the boy will ultimately be allowed to choose whether to be circumcised. In Boldt v. Boldt, Lia and James Boldt, the divorced parents of 12-year-old “M,” are litigating whether James, who currently has primary custody, has the legal right to force “M” to be circumcised. Lia has argued that “M” does not wish to be circumcised and that, regardless, circumcision is not in his best interest. James has argued that, as custodial parent, he has an absolute right to force “M” to be circumcised. He has also argued that his constitutional freedom of religion protects his decision to forcibly circumcise “M” because he has converted to Judaism, and claims that, when he was nine, “M” converted as well. Doctors Opposing Circumcision filed an amicus brief on behalf of Lia Boldt, arguing in part that “M” is constitutionally entitled to the protection of an Oregon state law outlawing female circumcision, aka female genital mutilation. The American Jewish Congress, the American Jewish Committee, the Anti-Defamation League, and the Union of Orthodox Jewish Congregations of America jointly filed an amicus brief on behalf of James Boldt’s argument of religious freedom.

Under the Court’s ruling, if it is determined that “M” does not want to be circumcised, the trial court must then determine whether “forcing M at age 12 to undergo the circumcision against his will could seriously affect the relationship between M and father, and could have a pronounced effect on father’s capability to properly care for M” (emphases in original). Only if the trial court determines that forcible circumcision could adversely affect “M”’s relationship with his father will the court then consider whether a change in custody to “M”’s mother is in the child’s best interest. Under the Court’s decision, James Boldt may still be allowed to forcibly circumcise “M” if the trial court determines that to do so would not adversely affect their relationship.

Under Oregon state law, determining a child’s wishes or best interest can be done through interviews with and examinations of the child, as well as with the assistance of a variety of experts. Throughout this process, “M” will remain in the custody of his father, despite Lia Boldt’s assertion that “M” has said he fears disagreeing with his father’s decision. Those fears may be well founded: James Boldt’s role in their marriage as his wife’s physically abusive “god’” or “sovereign’” was described in an earlier decision of the Oregon Court of Appeals.

Boycott Hollister!! February 1, 2008

The maker of Ameda breastpumps also makes the PlastiBell Circumcision Device??!! Boycott them!!

Here is the link:

http://www.hollister.com/us/files/pdfs/bf_product_catalog.pdf

I am not currently breastfeeding, but I thought I would spread the word!!

The truth about parenting January 16, 2008

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I had visions of this perfect baby, that only cried when she was hungry, that always smelled delicious, and that would turn into a perfectly well behaved toddler. I envisioned my pregnant belly shrinking down to it’s pre-pregnancy size with little effort, and even brought my pre-pregnancy pants to the hospital expecting to put them on when I went home. Part of what I expected… I got. She was a beautiful baby, and has turned into a very beautiful little person, that I love with all my heart and soul. But, nobody told me about the gory details. Motherhood is not for wimps… and I will explain why.

The moment Rosalee entered this world, she was crying… and after the initial shock of realizing that I had actually given birth to a human, and not a fluffy white poodle (I had dreams constantly that she would be a fluffy white poodle) wore off, I was exhausted. Furthermore, I was scared out of my mind. I cried like a baby the whole way home from the hospital. No one told me that going from a pregnant state to a non pregnant state in a matter of a few hours would mess with your emotions to the extent that it did. I remember crying because a traffic light was green.

Breastfeeding was a nightmare, and after developing a 104 fever when she was about 5 days old, which was diagnosed as mastitis, and still having this tiny helpless little creature depending on me for everything despite being sicker than I ever remember being, and just feeding her was excruciating, I was just in a haze. Fortunately for me, after about six weeks, things got easier, and my little girl and I went through the next year without too much trouble.

10 months later I found myself pregnant again, and for the most part things were going great. My daughter would get into things, and be a little tough to handle at times, but really she and I did fine.

Then she turned two. I am told that she is normal, but I am beginning to either doubt that… or doubt my sanity. I see so many unknowing, first time, pregnant, mothers… who just stare at me in disbelief when my daughter throws a fit in the middle of Target… and I think to myself… “Somebody ought to warn them….”

So here it goes… Here is what happened this morning…

7 AM Pretend that I don’t hear the kids playing in their cribs and try and fall back asleep, which will undoubtedly last only about five minutes.

7:03 AM Both kids are crying… I can no longer pretend that I don’t hear that they are awake. I stagger out of bed and pick up my 5 month old put him on one hip, go into my two year olds room and put her on the other hip.

7:05 AM after changing two diapers, it’s time to start multitasking.

7:07 AM Give Rosalee her breakfast and instruct her not to throw it all over the place… hoping that she will actually listen this time. Feel thankful that I have a dog to help me clean the mess.

7:10 AM drink my coffee, take my pills, feed Sawyer, talk on the phone, yell at the dog, and instruct Rosalee to eat her breakfast because she won’t be getting a snack in five minutes.

7:11 AM, cringe as I hear Rosalee’s bowl with milk still in the bottom of it hit the wall. Tell unruly toddler that throwing food is not acceptable.

7:12 AM, Realize that the dog has crapped on the kitchen floor, and that Rosalee has been stashing tampons in her toy box and changing table.

7:14 AM, Realize that both children smell and go through another round of diaper changes.

7:18 AM, try and resume feeding Sawyer solid food, but he is now impatient and demanding a bottle, meanwhile Rosalee has colored on the kitchen floor and is demanding a glass of milk.

7:20 AM, Sawyer has now starting drinking his bottle, and Rosalee is smearing diaper rash cream on her face, and it appears she has my cell phone in her diaper.

7:21 AM, cell phone begins to ring and confirms my suspicions… said toddler does in fact have my cell phone in her diaper. Toddler is scared by the ringing, and begins to cry, waking her brother, who also startles and begins to cry.

I look at the clock… and realize that naptime is an eternity away.

Fast forward… Naptime has finally arrived, and as I lay my little girl down in her crib, I tell her “I love you” and as I walk away I hear her say back to me “I love you.” I smile to myself, as I close her door, sit down in the living room and brace myself for when naptime is over.

Motherhood is one of the most important jobs a woman could ever have. But, it is also very trying, tiring, and rewarding all wrapped into one, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.